“I believe you’re about to be deported from the US?”
“Yes.”
“Can you tell us how it happened?”
“Certainly. The new Shangri-La department were doing what the French would call a ‘rafle’ - a round up - of Mexican Agricultural workers, and somehow two of their operatives ended up in my university campus rooms in Cambridge Massachusetts.”
“Our listeners might like to know exactly what you were doing in Cambridge Massachusetts.”
“I was on a post graduate course in how not to run a country at a university in the area.”
“What happened next?”
“As soon as they found out I was the Grand Duchess of Schleswig Holstein Gotha Gottorp they immediately became suspicious and asked me if I was related to the Schleswig Holstein Sonderburg Glucksteins.”
“Are you?”
“No, but I don’t think I helped my chances with them, by giving a quick run down of how easy it is for supposedly sound constitutions to become a pile of scrap metal.”
“What did they say to that?”
“They told me to get in the van.”
“Did they say anything else?”
“Only how the head of the Shangri-La Department is particularly against constitutional and political awareness.”
“Then they took you away.”
“They took me away, and what with me being an aristocratic European they put me in a police cell without bothering to charge me with anything.”
“And now you are here in the departure lounge waiting with your one way economy class ticket for the Lufthansa flight to Berlin.”
“Oh no, the family private jet’s picking me up.”
